I was tempted to write this out on Facebook, but I feel like that's just tugging onto the emotional strings of people I know, and I'm not sure that's the conductive thing to do right at this point in time. Even if I do want them to know what is going on through my head right now. I'm writing this for my personal sanity. So I thought I'd post it here, where the audience is slim.
The day before yesterday, Green Card holders from various countries were denied entry to their country of residence. Green Card holders, legal immigrants. I'm not even from any of the countries that were targeted by this ban, but as a legal immigrant currently in the U.S. I am properly terrified by what the future in this country holds for me. I've spent the better part of this Sunday morning being legitimately upset at the prospect of having to leave my life as I know it. We're not there yet, but I'd be stupid to not be thinking about it.
Everything I've worked for most of my life is now kind of up in the air, and this quite literally happened over night. When Trump won, I thought "Surely, the legal immigrants will still be able to be here legally, even if it's harder. I'll make it work" but that's proving to not be true. Besides it all, am I nuts to want to stay here at this point? Never you mind, that I have friends, a job, my life here, and that I contribute to the economy by simply being here. By all measures, I'm a law-abiding citizen (except the one that matters in this case)
When I consider my options, I can continue on the current path I'm on, which is the path to Green Card, which no longer guarantees me residence here. I could get married? But again, that only yields a Green Card, and citizenship in ~10 years, maybe. Assuming nothing changes. Or I leave the country leaving everything, and I mean everything, behind. My career, my apartment, my friends, the lot, without looking back. If I leave, I will not be coming back.
Immigrating to Canada, would be my best bet I think, but in reality it is just as hard to immigrate there as it is to immigrate here. I would be for all intents and purposes, setting myself back 10 years in life, except this round I'm not 18, but at least they're sane over there, right? That's a separate thread.
I could go live with my Dad in the middle east, where I simply dislike it, and there I would not be able to work in my field, or any other field. I believe I would be in tourist status, coming in and out of the country regularly. Mooching of my father. This is not how I want my life to turn out.
My other option, going back to Bolivia, where I was born and raised, and where I don't even know how to be an adult (I became an adult in the U.S. I mean really, I turned 18 here) and I'm not even sure my field is a thing down there. I'd be lucky to find something as an IT person somewhere. This is not how I want my life to turn out.
This is not what I've worked hard for the majority of my life. It would be, quite literally, all for naught. Thousands of dollars wasted on my U.S college education, and taxes paid in the U.S. to have nothing to show for it, and probably be worse off by it. So if push comes to shove, I am going to try my hardest to immigrate to Canada, or possibly somewhere in Europe if they want me. But make no mistake, Trump was never my choice, this was always out of my control, and Americans who think immigrants are the devil (legal or otherwise) need a reality check, yesterday.